Everything I Was, Everything I Am, Everything I Will Be

I was quiet, timid, easily overlooked and invisible. During my first years of high school and the first weeks (maybe months) of IB, that's who I was. I was a complete introvert who barely spoke in class yet maintained all As and who lacked a core group of friends. I had friends here and there; volleyball helped. Yet all that time I yearned for my best friend at Heritage or more classes with my volleyball friends.

Even though you still see some of that Anna Claire today, I certainly feel like a different person. A better person. While I can't say for certain my shift is due to IB, I can confidently say it was a major contributing factor.

I joined the program to challenge myself; I didn't like that my freshman and sophomore years were a breeze. I also wanted to be better prepared for college, boost my GPA, have smaller class sizes, and be around people who wanted the same things. In retrospect, I have gotten so much more out of it than that, which has helped me grow as a person and become the Anna Claire/AC that I am proud of today.

Out of all the things I received from the program that I wasn't expecting, I am most grateful for the friendships I have formed with people who have become very important in my life. There's not a day that goes by that I'm not reliant on and thankful for Dawson's hugs, Amy's kindness and sincerity, Nick's sass, Chloe's and Hunter's creativity, Allie's positivity, Olivia's and Vanessa's generosity. Everyone else in IB has affected me as well, and I'm grateful for them all.

While making great friends helped me come out of my shell, so did my unexpected involvement in IB Theatre. I did not plan or desire to take that class (being on stage? a.k.a. an introvert's nightmare), but I did because of a scheduling conflict. Well, thank goodness for that conflict. I have developed amazing skills in that class that will serve me well in the future, with who I will be: confidence, public speaking, voice projection, creativity, problem solving, organization, risk, not being afraid to put yourself out there. I am confident that this class is a major factor in breaking away from who I was and becoming who I am.

The demands of the program have taught me what kind of student I am; my work ethic is something I'm very proud of, even though senioritis sometimes makes me doubt this. IB has helped me find who I am and who I want to be, both as a student and a human being. Therefore, I owe a lot to the program, because I can say without hesitation that it was a fantastic experience for me.

While I still see traces of who I was, I am content with who I am today. I think the term "extroverted introvert" fits well. However, I know that I haven't completely found Anna Claire/AC, and I'm looking forward to discovering everything I will be.

Whitman's Journal

It was a little difficult to decipher every word in Whitman's notebook, but here are the most interesting things I found that I could read:

• Why now I shall know whether there is anything in you, Libertad  / I shall see how much you can stow
• Perhaps shall see the crash- is all then lost? (decreasing good of society will be recurring)
• Does the Queen of England represent a thousand years? And the Queen of Spain a thousand years? And you
• Welcome the storm- welcome the trial- let the waves (private storm as well as societal storm)
• Why now I shall see what the old ship is made of. (Lincoln= ship captain, metaphor- ship of state)
• I welcome this menace- I welcome thee with joy.
• Images I noticed: a harp, portraits of Whitman (he loved to be drawn), stabbed skeleton

The blue ones are my personal favorites. I am a big proponent of working hard and finding the positives in every situation, so these Whitman quotes in particular touched me. They all have a similar message that life is tough, but we should welcome its challenges with a positive attitude and perseverance. Another recurring thing I found was ships or words pertaining to ships. I think this ties back to what we have learned about Whitman thus far; he praises nature and celebrates life and all of its difficulties.

Before going to the second link, I couldn't figure out that it is "Libertad," which is the Spanish word for liberty. It is interesting that it's still debated what purpose using the Spanish version of the word serves. After reading all the notes, I observed that his prose can be applied to both his personal life and the state of the States (ha) during the Civil War era. While the "storm" can mean the issues leading to the war, it can also mean his personal trials. I think this is cool because you can interpret his poems both ways but still get the same general themes such as celebrating life and nature.

Lastly, please enjoy this awesome meme!

http://weknowmemes.com/generator/meme/Walt-Whitman/164663/

Life...It's Worth It

I see the "American Dream" as having the freedom to and finding contentment, happiness, and prosperity in life, and the ways in which these are achieved vary per individual. Each person defines these words in a different way according to aspects such as philosophical views, social class, monetary status, and the people surrounding them.

To me, wealth is much more than just monetary worth. Wealth measures the richness and fulfillment of life (basically, quality of life). I see this measurement, while different for everyone, as primarily made up of friends, family, actions and character, and passion (in career and/or in other ways). I have developed my definition of wealth over time in regards to how my mom lives life, as I appreciate her views on this and her placement of character and love over financial worth.

While I do feel that most Americans view wealth as all about money and materialism, I think we would be surprised at how many people adapt what I consider a healthier view that it's more than money. The blog posts I have read so far agree that the "American Dream" and wealth are more about finding happiness and fulfillment than monetary value. It would be fascinating to take a poll or survey about Americans' attitudes toward wealth. I would be interested in examining which groups of people respond in which way or if there even are certain "categories" of people who respond similarly. For example, is there a particular generation and/or social class that has a more positive outlook on wealth or that is more caught up in materialism? If I had to take a guess right now, I would say people who are worth the most amount in money automatically view themselves as wealthy without factoring in the aspects that I find more important.

I think the comprehensive American view on poverty is a serious lack of material worth. People are considered to be living in poverty if they are living without or with limited food, clothing, shelter, and money. My personal view of poverty relates back to my definition of wealth and the "American Dream." While I do believe poverty consists of lacking possessions, I think it's more than that. It's not having family or friends or people around you who can take care of you. It's not being able to have the opportunities that the rest of us are fortunate to have.

The characters in The Great Gatsby may disagree with my definitions, but I am confident in my perception of the "American Dream," wealth, and poverty.

https://squeezinglemonades.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/materialism-and-happiness/

Translation

Translations: 
#1:As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.

• diction (connotation/denotation): kept original German "Gregor"; "transformed": more extreme than "changed"; "gigantic": powerful, emphasis on large size; "insect": more extreme than "bug"; "uneasy": not very extreme; "awoke": more passive than "woke"
• syntax: lack of commas (need one after "dreams")
• imagery/details: "gigantic insect": we are able to create our own interpretations of what this looks like
• structure: lack of commas, cause and effect, happening in the past
• other stylistic/figurative elements: 3rd person p.o.v., tone: story-telling

#2:Gregory Samsa woke from uneasy dreams one morning to find himself changed into a giant bug.

• diction: change from "Gregor" to "Gregory"; "uneasy": not very extreme; "changed": not as powerful or extreme as "transformed"; "giant": powerful, emphasis on large size; "bug": not as extreme or detailed as "insect"; "woke" vs. "awoke": "woke" is more active
• syntax: active voice, casual-sounding 
• imagery/details: not as much imagery as the first translation because of less extreme diction of "changed" and "bug"
• structure: brief, to the point, could be happening in past 
• other stylistic/figurative elements: 3rd person p.o.v., tone: whimsical

#3:When Gregor Samsa awoke from troubled dreams one morning he found he had been transformed in his bed into an enormous bug.

• diction: kept German "Gregor"; "troubled": more extreme than "uneasy", thus more effective; "awoke": more passive than "woke"; "transformed" more powerful than "changed"; "enormous": most powerful of size word choices so far; "bug" not as detailed as "insect"
• syntax: lack of commas (should be one after "morning"), placement of "in his bed" makes sentence sound a bit strange
• imagery/details: more than previous translation, but not as much as #1 because of generalized "bug"
• structure: seems a bit wordy, lacks correct punctuation, cause and effect, happening in past 
• other stylistic/figurative elements: 3rd person p.o.v., tone: matter-of-fact

#4:One morning, upon awakening from agitated dreams, Gregor Samsa found himself, in his bed, transformed into a monstrous vermin.

• diction: kept German "Gregor"; "agitated": most specific and powerful adjective describing "dreams" so far; "monstrous vermin": very extreme, detailed, and imaginative
• syntax: has an introductory clause, many commas
• imagery/details: "monstrous vermin": allows us to visualize something terrible and extreme
• structure: a lot of punctuation, all proper, happening in past
• other stylistic/figurative elements: 3rd person p.o.v., "monstrous vermin" could be hyperbole, tone: starts out dreamy and hopeful, then transitions upon "monstrous vermin" to disgusted

The combination of diction, syntax, punctuation, and imagery affects the tone and interpretation of each translation. The first and second translations seem like they could be the first sentence of an American children's book, as they have more positive and lighthearted tones, and the second one takes on the American version of the name. Thus they both minimize the absurdity of the situation. The latter two, though, place more emphasis on absurdity, especially the last one, which I will discuss more in the next paragraph. The third translation, while maintaining a matter-of-fact tone, shows the absurdity of the transformation through diction and cause/effect. "When" automatically makes the rest of the sentence casual; we use this word to describe and give order to the events of our daily lives. Thus the reader finds a disconnect in transforming into an "enormous bug" and the previous sense of normality of the sentence.     

I find it interesting that all the translations lack punctuation besides the final one. This lack of commas has the effect of making the sentence seem more casual and normal; the fourth one is the only one that provides enough pauses to allow the reader to absorb the weirdness (and absurdity!) of the situation. This is part of the reason why I think the final one is the most effective. I also think this because of the syntax; the order of the words and pauses make it sound like Gregor truly "found himself," which is the phrase we use when we find who we really are as a person. Thus this creates the effect that he identifies himself as a "monstrous vermin," which effectively portrays Kafka's emphasis on the absurdity of human existence. 

This exercise reveals the difficulty involved in reading translated texts because there are numerous ways to translate a sentence, all having different meanings and effects. Without reading an author's original work, we receive the the translator's personal bias, which ultimately affects our perception of the text as well.

http://memegenerator.net/instance/54495957

Practice IOC

AC's Practice IOC

my recording:

will not load to save my life (emailed to Mrs. G)

my annotated passage from The Handmaid's Tale:

How I would score myself:

Criterion A: Knowledge and understanding of the text or extract- 4  

My knowledge of the text is good, but my comments are only "occasionally" supported by references to the text.

Criterion B: Understanding of the use and effects of literary features- 6

I think this could possibly be a 7, but I'm not positive enough to bump myself up to the next mark range. I related back to Atwood's purpose well and addressed the three stylistic features' effects on her audience with "adequate" (almost "good") understanding.

Criterion C: Organization- 3

I think my commentary follows my intended structure well and is "generally coherent." I did an introduction (which should have been shorter), then focused in on three stylistic features, then concluded briefly.

Criterion D: Language- 2

The language that I use is definitely not my best.  My sentence structure and grammar is "generally accurate," with errors that are "apparent." I also use too many filler words such as "um," "uh," and "so." I can improve on this maybe by writing down some sophisticated transition words during my 20 minute planning period.

Total Score: 15/30

Freebie

I'm using my semester freebie :)

Storytelling and Fear

Click here to watch "What Fear Can Teach Us."

TedTalk by Karen Thompson Walker

filmed June 2012

The TedTalk, "What Fear Can Teach Us," by author Karen Thompson Walker, is an inspiring and fascinating account of what fears are and what they mean.

In her talk, Walker uses the tale of the Essex shipmen to support her message. Though each part of the story is revealed at various points during her talk, its entirety is as follows. A 19th century sailors' ship was partially destroyed by a sperm whale, and thousands of miles away from home and the nearest land, they had limited supplies. They came up with three options on how to proceed: 

             1. The Marquesas Islands that were about 1200 miles away. However, they heard                                      horrifying rumors that it was full of cannibals; they imagined themselves reaching land                        only to promptly be eaten.

             2. Hawaii. However, they feared that there would be stormy weather there.

             3. Coast of South America. Though this option reaped the best rewards, the journey to get                        there would be perilous. The length would wipe out their food and water                                                supplies.

These sailors were faced with choosing how to proceed based on their fears of each option. Their fears dictated that they could either be eaten by cannibals, be wiped out by storms, or try to reach land while diminishing all of their supplies.

Walker uses this story to show the link between fear and imagination. She talks about juvenile fears being based off of a "vivid imagination" that creates scary scenarios in our minds. 

Thus fears are stories, according to Walker. They are unintentional, yet innate within us and our imaginations. Like stories, fears have characters, plots, imagery, and suspense. The latter rises "What if?" and "What will happen next?" questions. With both storytelling and fear, we want answers to these questions; we want to know what is going to happen to the main character. Walker reveals that these questions are answered in the form of stories rooted in fear. Our fear of the unknown lead us to do "mental time travel" to create tales about what the future may look like.   

Walker continues by arguing that some fears can actually predict our future. But this raises another question: how do we distinguish between fears that do and those that don't?

Well, we can "read" our fears. Fears that are more artistic and vivid typically prove to be over-dramatic and unlikely. Ones that are less violent and developed through a scientific lens are usually more probable, gradual, and dangerous.

Walker's purpose with this talk is to encourage the audience to start "reading" our fears. She encourages us to listen to our more subtle, gradual fears rather than our more horrifying, imaginative ones so that we are swayed less often by the latter ones. 

In order to get this point across, Walker uses repetition, ethos, and pathos. She frequently repeats questions of "what if" and "what would happen" to show the audience that our imaginations can create most terrifying stories/fears based on these questions. In effect, the talk becomes more meaningful to the audience because they can relate to it. The more meaningful and inspiring a presentation is, the more likely its audience is to take what they have learned and implement it into their own lives.

Walker uses ethos to prove her credibility as an author of fiction. She tells the audience of her experience in writing her first novel, The Age of Miracles. During this process, she thought deeply about "what would happen if the rotation of the Earth suddenly began to slow down." She shows her audience that she is experienced in "reading" fears; she is trustworthy because she has implemented this practice in her life and work, and it has been successful.

Walker also incorporates pathos in her presentation by obvious reasons of appealing to each audience member's fears. She recognizes the need for controlling our fears and provides a way to do it. By relating our fears to stories, she diminishes the reality of them, which convinces the audience to "read" their own fears to figure out which ones they should really be worried about.

I chose this TedTalk because I can relate to the fear of the future, and I am definitely guilty of making up scary stories about what it might look like. I often ask myself the questions, "What if?" and "What would happen?" Currently, this revolves around college, as I'm sure it does for many of my peers. What if I don't get into my top choice? What would I do? What if I get in but can't afford it?

Now, after watching the talk, I have a way to better deal with fear of the unknown. I plan to "read" my fears and determine which stories are ridiculous and which are possible.

This presentation connects to what we will be covering in the next unit, as fear is a significant force of human nature. 

Without fear, are we truly human?

Whipped Walter

Walter Neff certainly fits the archetype of the male lead in film noir. He was weak in falling for Phyllis, or "Baby," as he liked to call her. In the frustrated sense, I struggled at first with how he fit into that characteristic. I then found that there is more than one connotation of the word, and Walter was frustrated in that he was "prevented from progressing, succeeding, or being fulfilled" (Google). 

His failure to succeed with his and Phyllis' plan and to progress in his life spurred from his personal characteristics. As I watched the movie, I recorded many adjectives to describe him, including flirtatious, sarcastic, and naive. The latter is the trait that ultimately leads to his downfall.

Walter's naivety was what brought him into Phyllis' trap. He was caught up in being his flirtatious and sensual self that he was easily, unknowingly tempted into a cunning and ambitious plan to kill Mr. Dietrichson. Once he had agreed to that, there was no going back. That initial interaction in the Dietrichson living room set the standard for the rest of the film. Walter was completely taken away with her beauty and helplessness with her "abusive" husband. From that point on, he was going to help her, and he certainly went to great measures to allow her to get her way. 

This situation is evidence for what his relationships were like with women. He was what we would refer to as "whipped" today. He was easily tempted by beautiful women, and this characteristic led him to some crazy actions. When he came across both Phyllis and Lola, he was quickly drawn into their issues and offered his manly assistance. With Phyllis it was the major plot to kill her husband for money, and with Lola it was her problems with Nino. He liked to chase women, complete with their problems and emotions and all, to fulfill his pleasure-seeking senses. Being too caught up in desire led him on a dangerous, doomed pathway.

T

Despite his personality traits that ultimately led him to make rash decisions, Walter was also sarcastic and clever. At the end of the movie, he mocks Phyllis by asking her "Why don't you shoot again, Baby," (see in video below) because he knows she won't have the guts to do it from a shorter distance. At this point, we see Walter's naivety turn into a sort of contempt. As a male, he didn't like being manipulated by a woman, and he made sure to express and play that up in the conversation that he had with Phyllis before he shot her.